My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
