I showed him my bush... on skype.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
