Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
