my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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