Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
