I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
