shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she smelled like a LAN party
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
