On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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