I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
