Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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