it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
