My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
