I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize