your thong is hanging out like whoa
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
