ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
