i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
