i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
