I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I think people are normalizing furries
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
