My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
