when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
