and i looked up. we had an audience...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
