awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
