Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
