They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
