and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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