Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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