that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
