I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
