I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You took a bar mat shot.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize