God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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