so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize