Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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