i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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