Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
