I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
