I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
