I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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