Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Randomize
