wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
