Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
