remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize