That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
