what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
