you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I have tasted many bathrooms
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
