it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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