i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You've changed since you got that strap on
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
