Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
