So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
