u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
