and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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