Already got asked if we're dating
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
