what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
