ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Panties = found
Randomize
