The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
