thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
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