This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Randomize
