Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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