i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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