sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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