Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I was not drunk enough for that final.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
