whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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