I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
